Biting Down

Biting Down
// Souldier Girl

I’m finding it hard to concentrate

Thoughts speaking without raising their hands
Raising their voices
Without being called on
Problems scribbled on the blackboard of my heart
Lacking a solution for their missing parts
Attempts to steady my shaking hands
Replacing God where there was once man
I try to sit alone and quiet down
A smile traced on my face
…They all think she is ok
What if life behaved in an opposite way?
Where we just spoke the truth
Of how we really were on any given day
I would say,
…I am biting down with weak teeth
I am spitting out these words just to stop the nervous tweaks
I am holding it all in
I am under the water, freezing my breath
…becoming the hustler of life’s test
Shadowboxing the unrest
The hive is loose
And it is I they seem to choose
Their stings prick and bleed
But I bat them off
With unwavering belief
I’m fighting being defined a failure
With scarred fists and a worn out tee shirt
With the cliche missing
And my poetry clinging
Ink down my chest
Bleeding from my heart
Rendered into art
To heal myself
I am tired and I am run down
Yet there is magic in the forlorn
I am telling you my real
I am choking on how it feels
I am the result of what has spilled
…like oil out of a bottle
I wear the stains of past tomorrow’s
Yet I still live with two hands up on this roller coaster
And that would be my truest answer
If we lived in a world
Where when we reply with how we are
” yeah I’m ok”
…was not the standard

https://souldiergirl.com/2016/09/26/biting-down/

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