I am venturing into the deep forest and I am so afraid of the dark.
Life was full of lessons that I didn’t want to learn. Where is the world of honey
and milk chocolate and the purple faced bird in my dreams that settles softly in
my hand when I beckon him. I imagine true homes have fences of white lilies
standing guard against fate. After I was abandoned I decided to become a Carmelite nun
so that I could pray for the lost but concluded that would become excruciatingly boring
and after all, wasn’t I the one wronged? Dying just like that, did she give any thought to
me when she was sick? She did not have the grace to get well even though I lit a thousand
prayer candles and knelt on those wooden planks until my knees were thick with calluses
and all those unbearable hours in the confessional, there are only so many sins you can
invent when you are eight.
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